I have felt the last few weeks that there is a gianormous (is that a word?) purpose to my heartache of the last few months. I have begged and pleaded for relief of the symptoms of the pain. But just like a person with a broken leg, it can't be fixed with a mere band aid.
And then the book Green Eggs and Ham came to mind. Everything I have been learning has been centered around concepts that to me are a little foreign, a little different looking, and definitely hard to want to swallow.
Just like in the book Green Eggs and Ham, where Sam I Am, chases an unknown character around trying to convince him to eat of green eggs and ham, God has done the same thing with me. Interesting to note here too, that Sam's name has "I Am" in it. Indeed God has done it to several people, chase them trying to get them to try something that looks different. He is doing the same for me and guess what? I like green eggs and ham!
My friend, whose friendship I have been discussing in this forgiveness blog, was done. Done with our friendship, done with loving, done with fighting, done with forgiving, done with trying, done with putting the effort in, done with working. And really, I can't say that I blame her much. I was tired of all the above too.
However, we were both wrong, as were all the peripheral people involved, such as family members. What am I saying? It is often heard that if you have an unhealthy relationship, whether with a friend, family member, acquaintance, etc. that you should do whatever you can, to get out of it. I am learning that is wrong! Just like Sam I Am finally ends up convincing the unknown character to try the unfamiliar food, so God sometimes is trying to get us to try the unfamiliar methods of love, forgiveness, and healing. The unknown character at the end of the book is delighted and satisfied when he finally tries Sam I Am's green eggs and ham.
Is there a better way than the road that's been taken with my friend and I? I believe so. I think that we are taking the easy road out. Let me explain why. Doing the best with the one sided perspective that I have in this case, I have to make some assumptions.
I am assuming that the questions that we would have had to address in repairing a friendship that was as deep as ours, and as damaged as ours, would have been very difficult. Some of the questions she may have had to face would have been, "Can I do anything more than I've done already? Can this get any better? Will we ever be able to stop hurting each other? Is there any hope that she will let me heal and move forward healthily? Is there a middle ground that we will both be happy in? Is there a way we can keep the good in our friendship and weed out the hurt and rehashing? Can God step in and help?" I too have had very similar questions although a few slightly different. But none of those matter.
"Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple." - Dr. Seuss
The solution was and still is so easy. LOVE! As I have been learning, love is God's way. It is the easiest, quickest, most healing, righteous way to following God's directive and moving forward. You see, even though you may be suffering while you love someone, that is the example the Savior set for us, think Gethsamene or Resurrection. You see, if we are all truly brothers and sisters in the spiritual sense, then our devotion to each other and working things out through love should be priority. When the Savior suffered for our sins, He didn't say, "Okay, you hurt me I need some space from you and time to heal." No, in fact, He saw a greater need to love us. He begs us to draw closer to him. Whole other blog post coming on this....
Bottom line is Try the Green Eggs and Ham, they are delish! Loving a person through the greatest sorrow brings the greatest joy.
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