Recently, my integrity was questioned by someone I love dearly. I was crushed. My heart impaired at the thought that my actions were sending a signal to someone that I shouldn't be trusted. Hearing the accusations, I was angered, then I was saddened, then I felt compassion. I tried to practice what I have been learning through all of the reading I have been doing. First, seek to understand the other person's story or perception. Then find the compassion in order to forgive and love more. Sheesh it's a lot easier to write about than do sometimes, but it works.
After hearing of the distrust, I remembered a quote that was taped to my friend's bathroom mirror. It said something like, "live your life in such a way that if someone were to speak poorly of you, no one would believe it." Now those were not the exact words, but you get the gist of it. I don't know if I can say that I have done that, but I can say that I am trying every day to do that.
So, I looked back through my actions and decided that it doesn't matter whether I was trustworthy in the situation that was brought up or not, the perception was that I wasn't trustworthy. Now, I'm not very good at always shoving my ego down, but again, as Ferrell taught in FIH, I needed to repent. I don't know if the person will ever change their mind about me, but it doesn't matter. All I can do is my best with my weaknesses and the Lord.
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