Hypocrite! The partial story of the fallout. Sorry in a mood to RANT!

Hypocrite! This is what I called my so called best friend.  I was upset that she was going to the temple after knowing about some of her weaknesses. This is not to say that I didn't have hundreds of weaknesses myself, which made me judgmental. It was wrong of me. I gave her a beating she didn't deserve instead of loving her more.

I have apologized countless times. She wrote me off because I was unworthy of her love, unworthy of her effort, and I'm hard. I am self admittedly hard. I have no brothers or sisters, I have abandonment issues because of some early childhood circumstances and I take up too much time and effort from others. 

However, sometimes people write people off like me because they see me as too much work, "incurable," and not worth the effort. But I dare say, I am "curable," I am worth it, and what people know of me is a mere fraction of what my Savior knows of me. He hasn't written me off. How do people justify writing others off when we hear of the stories of the 99 and 1, or would they ever want their Savior to write them off because they are hard or they have weaknesses?

It is true that I can stand tall, I can beat the weaknesses that contributed to the fallout of my friendship, as can she. Clearly I haven't written myself off, I turned to my faith even though this is most definitely the hardest thing I've had to face in life. But I refused to give up.

My friend, who is a social worker, knew the issues, I have always been honest with her. She told me she would never leave. Our relationship in the past is what it is. There were some rocky moments and issues but the important part is we can be committed to a God centered friendship in the future. The two of us should have committed to supporting one another in our God centered goals. Both single moms, both trying to do what's best, and yet both failed each other. Having the support of her and her family should have been a positive helpful thing. I'm saddened they chose the choice they made.

I judged my friend and didn't do the right thing when she was struggling. Now she and her family have judged me. I have been what in the Amish community is called "shunned."  None of us are pure and clean to sit in that calling. However, the atonement provides a path to complete forgiveness for all sin and hurt and we all need that cleansing.

The more good people to support others, the more likely they will stay the course. Choose to love. I know I have work to do in this area. Choose to be as the Savior would do and increase the love towards those hardest to love.