Vulnerability Part Two...Shame vs. Guilt

Brene has a follow up talk that I listed to on shame. She starts by saying vulnerability is courage. It takes pure courage to be vulnerable. Vulnerability is not weakness!  Let me ditto her saying that! Vulnerability is not weakness! She defines it...It is emotional risk, exposure, and it is uncertainty. She goes on to say that vulnerability is our most accurate gauge for courage.

Are you in the arena?

I'm going to take a little creative license here and say vulnerability is the birthplace of love, forgiveness, change, compassion, and creativity. It is the fuel to change. It is the fuel to living a life that is authentic and serving to get us back home.

She then talks about how shame is the counter or the opposition to this fuel.

Huge difference between shame and guilt. Shame is I am bad, guilt is I did something bad. Guilt is uncomfortable but adaptive. Shame is organized by gender. Everyone knows the wash of shame. Shame creates shut down, addictive behaviors, and behavioral messiness. Guilt can provide a gateway to seeing weaknesses in ourselves allowing for vulnerability and therefore more love, creativity, innovation and compassion. It makes way for love, forgiveness, and connection. Which this is an eternal principle of love so we can be together as a family.

In the case of my friend, I should've went to her with my real crap and said, I struggle when this happens and I need this, or I am weak here, or my health is really this, or I need to feel validated or secure when this happens, etc. I didn't. But guess what??? I am learning how to be authentic through vulnerability. I am in the arena, I may look crumpled, torn, and ripped up but I am doing what it takes.

Vulnerability is the way to find our way back to others. It creates love, not shuns it. And yes, I may continue to hurt, I may continue to lose out, but it is worth the risk.