Sunday, June 16, 2013

Sharing your shame story with the wrong people.


Recently, my pbff made a threat to me after she felt threatened (kind of like the fight or flight post previous to this one). The back up story is this. Very early on I trusted my pbff with some sensitive shame info. She told me at that time it was ok to tell her because she would never tell anyone and she would never leave me. I opened up my heart and shared what most people would never dream of. When she left, I told her that it was a good thing I keep my word because she could have her license in her profession taken away as well as her family's reputation hurt. I said this as a way of proving that I still had her back. I wanted her to know that with everything going down, I still cared enough to not do what my counselor suggested which was to turn her into the licensing board. She took this as a threat. And when she did, she said this to me the other day..."What is it you are saying because just remember that no matter what you know about me, I know all about your past and will tell too." My pbff even did what she accused my ex of doing which was threatening to tell and this after saying how horrible it was for him to do that. This video below showed me why I shared with the wrong person. She was in a position of power over me and in a trusted profession. I shared with her my deepest fears, weaknesses, and struggles because I thought she was what Brene Brown shared as being the one person that would love me because of my weaknesses. Not despite them.

That being said, I believe she was one of the biggest blessings in my life. I learned more from her than anyone else.


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