The fight-or-flight response (also called the fight-or-flight-or-freeze response, hyperarousal, or the acute stress response) is a physiological reaction that occurs in response to a perceivedharmful event, attack, or threat to survival.[1] It was first described by Walter Bradford Cannon.[a][2] by sympathetic nervous system activation that innervates the adrenal medulla, producing a hormonal cascade that results in the secretion of catecholamines, especially.[3] The reaction is activated by the autonomic nervous system, which primes the animal for fighting or fleeing.[4]
And having this fight or flight response can be a great thing, or it can be a detrimental thing in some cases. For instance, when you are feeling attacked, left, or threatened, your fight or flight can help in most instances, or it may hurt. When I went through counseling with my ex, he explained that when my ex hurt me, my fight response kicked in. He would say something harsh and I would attack him right back with mean words. In the case of my dear friend, she would do something unintentionally that was hurtful and I would say mean things to her. Again, the fight response kicking in; thinking that this would help save me, when in fact it helped push those I loved away.
So in thinking about the fight or flight response and the natural man, which means unrepentant man, I have come up with a theory or supported one in the Falling to Heaven book. In FTH, Ferrell talks about paradoxes or doing the opposite of what you might think you should. He gives a sporting example like when you are going to rebound a basketball the best move is to move away from the basket, block out your opponent and grab the rebound even if your first gut instinct is to move towards the basket.
So in looking at this and forgiveness, I have a theory that we should do exact opposite of what our natural instinct is when we are flooded with hurt and anger. For instance, if someone has hurt you and they are saying mean things, you may want to say mean things back. Do not! In fact, make sure you say really kind things to everyone you meet about this person. If someone is ignoring you, as in my case, make sure you continually say hi, go out of your way to do kind things, etc. I wasn't doing this until recently but I realized a great thing. Then their ignoring is going to be on their shoulders. They will have to explain one day to God why they couldn't come to a reconciliation and loving approach. When you want them to hurt because they have hurt you, pray harder, fast more, for them! What? Yes, that's right. Do the opposite of what your fight or flight response is sending you. Love them more!
Now, I get that some cases are extremely hard. Your kids may have been hurt by another, your family members may have been hurt, or the hurt is inexcusable. That's when I have to go back to two previous points in some prior posts. What if it was the Savior's sister that hurt you? Would you forgive her completely and want to help her? Yes! Well guess what? It is the Savior's sister or brother that has hurt you. We are tied by divine nature. The second point is, if you did something inexcusable would you want the Savior to forgive you or walk away? That is exactly why we must forgive others. Just because we sin differently or hurt people differently, doesn't mean we don't hurt others. We need forgiveness which requires us to step up our forgiving.
Phewwww!!!! That was long and a little not great but hopefully my next post I will describe some actual situations where it illustrates these points.
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