And I'm back....Could I have done it?

So, I've taken a few months off due to some health concerns and family obligations but I'm back. I have some great things to talk about and some that are not so great, lol. My journey to forgiveness has had some major ups and downs. Right now we are in a down phaze, but that's why it's a journey right?

So update on the last few months, my friend continues to ignore me and my kids and I have found it increasingly harder to find forgiveness due to her lack of respect for my kids. My friend told my son from day one that she would always be there for him and that she would never leave. Now if he emails or texts her, she ignores him. So that brings out my mama bear claws! See pic below...Yep that's me.

The disrespect from her and her family towards my kids has pushed me over the ledge. And yet I have to remind myself what's in this blog. Increase love towards them, forgive them, pray for them. Easier said and typed about than done.

So I go back to the Savior and his last few weeks. You know, it used to be when I was little and would read the story of the war in heaven in the Bible, that I would mistakenly think I would have agreed to the sacrifice that the Savior did.  I totally would lay down my life for my brothers and sisters and give all glory to God. No problem right? I'm a good person and could do this. Oh the ego of a young one.

I have learned through this experience not only would I not be able to do what the Savior did, I would not and did not volunteer either. As I have looked at what the Savior experienced, being betrayed by his besties, being spit upon by those he served, being rejected by those who said they would be there and love Him, and by being denied by those who called Him friend, I realized, I would have broken. He didn't. He has loved us completely and fully despite all these things. The slaps in the face, the loneliness, the heart brokenness and yet He still forgives and still loves us.

I felt all of these things these past few months...rejected by, denied, slapped in the face, disrespected, broken hearted, etc. And yet I cave. I cave to the human hurt. I don't increase my love for them, I don't find forgiveness, but I do keep praying and keep trying.

Wow, sorry for the heaviness right out of the gate, but hey, I always said I would be honest here.