My bff's mom gave me a book called "Get out of the Pit" by Beth Moore. In it she talked about the different ways you can get shoved, slip, or jump into a pit.
Pit by definition meaning something we can't get out of by ourselves. I want to offer you something right here to help you, it's a thought to help you keep reading. "With God all things are possible."
She talks about abuse as a child, so much so that you may live in a shame pit. Your only reference to the world is that you are not good enough, you don't fit in, you were abandoned, etc. Or maybe you jumped into the pit through sin. Or maybe you got shoved in by a loved one. Whatever the case, you are in a pit. You need out. She goes on to say that we may even pretend to not be in a pit and decorate our pit with the latest and greatest from Pottery Barn, we may hang signs that say Welcome, and we may feel right at home in our pit.
Our pits can look like abandonment, shame, codependence, addiction, shame, oh did I mention that one twice? These are real. Please, know you are loved, know you are not alone. A lot of us are in pits right now. Look around. I am. This entire blog demonstrates that I am in a pit. Moore talks about you may be in a pit you never wanted or intended to be. She gives the example of herself stepping into a friendship that turned sour. Kind of like mine. She said both parties walked into the friendship with crystal clear intentions to help each other, support each other, and go through life as kindred friends. But she said that the relationship went bad as God slipped from it. Same with mine. And now I sit in my pit, with my LayZ boy recliner, bag of peanut m&m's, and enjoy hell alone.
We may start in our pits innocently. I'm gonna have to get real for a moment and be a little vulnerable and tell you some bits of my story so you can see what I mean. To protect those I love and guard my heart a little, suffice it to say, I had some abuse in my life. Now, normally I would be telling this story for some validation and a "oh, you've been through so much" statement. But I tell you for the mere fact that I think anyone would agree that I didn't jump in the pit by my own doing. But the choices that I made to deal with the pit I was shoved into, didn't help me get out. Turning to new pits of bitterness, anger, reclusiveness, putting a guard up around my heart, are a few to name. Some people turn to addictions. I made the most ridiculously stupid decisions anyone can make. And I continue to do so at times when I am in the pit.
Now I need God to get out of the pit. I have put Him front and center for the past 6 mos as my bff ignores my pleas for forgiveness and now have to realize He can make more of my life than I can or more than I thought she could. I placed her in the unfair role of being my savior and she did the same. The word for that is called co-dependence. We let the beguiling of Satan take over two dear spirits who had the best of intentions and turn a dear god ordained friendship into a big hurt.
Now all I can do is turn to God and trust in Him and know that with Him all things are possible. And if God is love and it's His very nature, there is no better place to put my trust than with Him who wants me to be happy. If I pattern my love and forgiveness after His example of love and forgiveness, I too will want to love others and forgive others as He does and is. The ugly truth is sometimes this is easier said than done.
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